Okay did you see the picture of Zay Zay, poor kid. He slept yesterday from 3 through 7 this morning b/c of ativan to stop the retching. He woke up today with smiles but tired. This is his last week of summer school which he really loves and I was hoping the kids would perk him up a bit. NOT. He did horribly at school and came home with more retching, just looking grey and out of it. My nurse gave him ativan again and he has been sleeping since 1pm.

So this is infact a "true cycle" UGH. I was so sad last night and so were my nurses to see him this way, they both called to see how he was b/c it is heartbreaking to see him like this. Isaiah is the kind of kid that if he is crying, you better run to him b/c something major must be wrong, unless of course you have a channel on tv that he doesn't like. But if he is screaming in pain then you want to immediately start bawling b/c he is NEVER like that. So when he is sick like this it is literally like someone is stabbing my heart. I just cannot stand my kids to be in pain. WIth everything they go through that is the worse by far, and I know I have said the before but it is so true.

With Avery I have really come to believe that his typical day is just plain junky. He chronically sounds horrible but ironically we are able to clear him enough that he never needs o2.

So my morning starts with needing to get Isaiah up and assessed whether he can go to school which he was so means shower meds and the whole nine, Meanwhile Avery is in his bed doing his usual am vomitting of mucous and my nurse is not in until 8 which is not helpful so I have to scream to poor Rick who has been at camp all week and not gotten to bed until after midnight since Sunday. He now needs nebs, bath and suctioning with meds. See why I have nursing.

Okay so I have been wining tons lately on this blog. I am sorry. I am really trying to be more perky but sometimes it can be hard. Although don't get me wrong, I am blessed in so many ways but there are ebbs and flows of emotions with this life.